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Online Dating Do's & Dont's

In today's over-scheduled, fast paced world, singles often don't have time to cross paths with the right person. Today’s popular and successful solution is online dating. I often hear people say "online dating doesn't work," but the industry statistics prove it does and I see in my practice that it works very well for many. I have helped so many people successfully navigate the online dating world and I have the wedding invitations to show for it.

Let’s start down the path to success by making a few changes – Read on . . .

5 common mistakes in online dating

1.You aim too high or too low

You have to be realistic about who you are and try to meet people in your same age and attractiveness range. If you were to be set up by a friend, he/she would choose someone similar to you in terms of looks, intelligence, job, age and accomplishments. The more you have in common with someone, the easier it is to navigate some of the harder parts of a relationship. Also, if you are getting emails from people that seem too good to be true, they probably are. You need to be realistic and stay in range.

2. Make a great first impression

A big mistake people make is to have the introductory email be too generic and/or they hold back in it.

You have to be able to put yourself out there in order to seem available and attractive. People today are so worried about coming across “needy,” that they go too far the other direction and sometimes come across too controlled. If you want to have a relationship, you need to know that the relationship starts with the first email. You should comment on something that grabbed you about their profile--specifically. If you don’t care enough to read their profile completely and write a specific response, then you should not expect good results in return. If you write to someone that is really looking for a relationship, they will be touched that you read what they wrote and showed an interest in them. Take a chance.

3. Represent

Another big no-no is when your profile does not represent who you are because you are trying to sell yourself rather than be yourself. I have heard many times people talking about a friend writing the profile for them. They will say, “My friend is so funny. She will make it good.” The problem is that when the guy meets you, he will be surprised you aren’t funnier. Your profile should really tell the story of you, not who you wish you were. That way, the right person for you will be drawn to your profile and you.

4. Picture perfect

If you don't put enough time and effort into the pictures you are putting up, you are not likely to get good results. I know, it's not cool to care so much that you take the time dress well, look good and shoot a lot of different photos...or is it? If you aren’t willing to put real time and energy into the photos to show your potential mate, you are sending a message that says, “I won’t put much time or energy into a relationship. I don’t really care that much.” If you look at someone’s profile and they have one picture up and it’s not well done, pay attention to the message they are sending and move on.

5. Don’t Pause

If you linger too long in the email portion of the relationship, it isn’t likely to work out. Some people are excellent writers…but poor at socializing. The reverse is true as well. No matter how great you get along through messaging, it’s the real thing that counts. When you haven’t really met the person, there is still a lot of fantasy and uncertainty about who the other person really is. You can build up an entire relationship in your mind before it even happens. Then when you meet the person, it’s very hard to determine if they are a good match for you. Move on to the phone call or in person meeting quickly. Remember that online dating is not just a game. If you take it seriously, it will work for you.

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